La Vida Llena

Si tuvieras fe como un grano de mostaza, tu le dirias a las montanas, muevete, las montanas se movera. If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains. I feel like God has been moving mountains in and through me in these past couple of weeks. Sorry for not being more faithful to my blog. I feel like a set the once a week standard then completely broke it these past couple weeks.

Sorry this will be long, but this is a summary of my last days in Honduras:

-Two weeks ago, I began my week of translating and traveling in the mountains of Honduras. I went from Taulabe to Lago de Yehoa(algo asi) to other places I don’t know the names of. I went with a group from South Carolina. Two families came bringing gifts and a powerful message to share with the mountain people. I was THE translator. One of the guys spoke Spanish, but definitely allowed me to get my full share of Spanish. I translated programs they did for schools in the morning and then translated full church services in the evening, and EVERYTHING in between. It was so extremely intense. I got to know the group and their hearts really well and was blessed by their love and passion for the Central American people. It was good to see Jack and Nancy’s ministry there and what they’re doing. They are an older couple from the States who have been here for about two years. They minister to the pastors and their families, equipping them to better serve their churches. Pastors in Honduras do not get “salaries” like they do in the States. It makes a life of ministry so much more of a calling than just an occupation. Anyway, Jack and Nancy provide funds for pastors to build homes for themselves, or build church buildings if they do not yet have them. They also pay for pastors to be able to go to training seminars that they typically would have never been able to afford through Church of God. Overall, I saw how much the people loved them and were touched by their ministry as well as the hearts of the group I served with.

-After that week, I had the option of going to La Ceiba and the beach for a day with the group I had been serving with or come help Kim lead a group (as Paul had to be out of town for a few days)….you know what I decided. I knew Kim needed my help so I drove the van and helped Kim with another group from Chattanooga (Hixon, really close to Lee). Took them to Ana’s school where we’ve been working and also to Nueva Esperanza, which was an experience in itself. I had some AMAZING conversations with some of the little girls at the orphanage. One little girl named Lourdes shared her story with me and out of respect for her if any of you ever meet her, I will not share it on here, but I was astonished,appalled, and ANGRY by the end of it, but knew she needed me to be none of those things for her. I was a shoulder for her to cry on and represent the arms of Christ, hopefully giving her some of His peace. In those situations what can you say? She’s stuck in a place that, if I was there, I would want to escape (which a few of them have been escaping, recently, not quite sure how to feel about that, yet). But if you had heard about her life at home, would you want her to be there? It kills me, burns me up inside. So as she innocently stared at me with way too much hurt for a 9 year old, she asked me whether or not she should escape….I told her I didn’t know. But I told her I knew that God loved her and cared about her and that He would be with her wherever she went. What else could I tell her? This little girl has experienced more pain in her life from people who were supposed to be trustworthy. How will she ever learn to trust a God who she cannot even see? But then I remember. MY God is all-powerful. MY God made the lame to walk and the blind to see. Who ever thought that was possible? I know that God can do all things, nothing is impossible with Him. So I will continue to pray for miracles in the life of Lourdes and my other lovely, hurting friends at the orphanage.

-When we were leaving the orphanage the first day, one of the boys got mad because we brought a soccer ball to play with, but weren’t leaving it. He then proceeded to throw rocks at our vehicles. In an effort to stop him, three grown men tried to hold him down. Somehow, his arm got out. The men said afterwards he should have played for the Mets or something. I’m not sure exactly how far away he was, I know it was at least 30 feet. He hit our window square in the center, busted it out. I was in the back at the time, didn’t witness it, but one of our girls came and got me and told me it was time to go, our window had been broken. As I was walking from the back of the orphanage out to the front, a few of the ladies who work in the orphanage grabbed some kids and were angry. I am so glad I overheard what they were saying and could understand because they told the kids that the gringos were never going to come back because they were behaving so badly and because our window was broken. The group we had taken had been considering not going back the next day, but when I told them that, they decided they were for sure going back. They made it a point to talk and spend time with the little boy who had thrown the rock. I was inspired by their unconditional love.

-So after two more FULL days of Ana’s school and Nueva Esperanza, we headed to Roatan. I don’t know if any of you have heard of or been to Roatan, but I recommend it if you are looking for a vacation place. I saw some of the most AMAZING beaches in my entire life. Roatan is an island that used to belong to the British, but now is part of Honduras. It used to be only English speaking (obviously), but over the past 40 years or so, it has evolved to be a bilingual country. I LOVE the culture there. The islanders speak broken English and are mostly Black Hondurans who also speak fluent Spanish. Then, you have the White people who speak mostly broken English that sounds like a mix of the Scottish, Welsh, and British heritage they descend from. Last you have the Hondurans who have been migrating to Roatan for the past 40 years. There is a lot of prejudice against them since they are “overtaking” the land of the islanders, creating a need to become bilingual, but that is the reality of the situation. This “mezcla” of cultures intrigues me. On top of the beaches, I loved getting to meet and spend time with different people from a wide variety of cultures.

-I preached for my first time in Spanish on Saturday night. It was a “youth” service, but like any of the youth services here in Honduras, it was maybe 15% youth, and then the rest of the church comes because the church is open. It was actually an outdoor service because the church is under construction, but Paul estimated that anywhere from 150-200 people heard me preach. I shared from II Corinthians 4 and Luke, reminding them that God was with them in the storms and that he wasn’t sleeping on them, all they had to do was call on Him and give it over to Him. We also did the drama to Everything by Lifehouse. You can look it up on Youtube. REALLY powerful, and I got to be the main girl. I loved it! I haven’t done drama stuff since I was younger, and I hadn’t realized how much I love it. After the service, maybe 15-20 people came up for prayer and God spoke to many of the people in ways that I hope will stick with them for a long time.

-Last but not least, yesterday I was given the opportunity ( VERY last minute ) to help lead worship for an English Sunday morning service, then to help lead for a dedication service for two missionary ladies who were leaving to go back to the States to be cared for by their families because of their age. They have been serving on the island and surrounding islands for 55 years and the other for 40. They were two sisters, one came before the other, but both dedicated their lives to bringing the Gospel of Christ to their world. I cannot begin to tell you how blessed and ordained it was for me to be in that service. The entire service was a testimony of the lives of these women. There were songs dedicated to the Lord because of them, there were stories shared by members of the community, tears shed because best friends/mothers/mentors were leaving. These women were not “missionaries” in the sense that I think I used to think about them. I have absolutely no idea why, but I used to have this idea about missionaries that they came in from the outside, shared the gospel and then everything was magical from then on. What I have come to realize in the past few years and was given a perfect example of that with these women is that the missionary life merely means coming into another country, learning about their culture and understanding who they are, but then being Jesus where you are. These women showed unconditional love to hundreds of children in schools, women in the community, families were revolutionized because of the love of these women. We were in service from 4:30-9:00…..I have never felt more inspired by a service, never challenged more, never cried or been touched the same way. The entire service I was being spoken to by God and by the testimonies of these women. God spoke to me in very direct and also indirect ways throughout the entire service. I know I will be going back to Honduras very soon, more than likely long term, but I am continually going to be seeking His face and direction, listening for His still, small voice.

-Then Jesus said to his disciples “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” – Matthew 16:24-25
-”He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot

Thank you all so much for your prayers. They have meant the world to me. I have received boldness where I have asked for boldness. There has been healing where I asked for healing. There has been protection where I asked for protection. God has been faithful and good, and now I must go home. I will be seeing all of you soon.

Wow…..never thought that would happen.

Thursday morning at 2:23 a.m. the earthquake hit. Apparently where it stemmed from was about 100 miles north of here in the ocean near Roatan. The entire house was shaking. I was obviously sleeping at that point, so was groggy. I didn’t even realize what happened at first. This will show you how sound of a sleeper I am – when it first hit, I got up and went to ask Kim what was going on…haha. I think she thought I was talking in my sleep, which I kind of was. She told me to get back in bed, it was an earthquake, but that everything would be ok. Welcome back to childhood, haha. Oh man, I’m laughing now, but there was some damage. This weekend we drove past a bridge about fifteen minutes here; it had completely collapsed.

Thankfully it hit during the middle of the night when most people were off the road and not working. A few building walls collapsed, and I can only imagine what it would have been like to be driving at that time. So thank you, Jesus for keeping people safe. I think there were 6 people who passed away because of it, so pray for their families and friends. Also, many homes were destroyed. These people experience enough hardship, so pray for relief for them. So sad. I know for us it was not a traumatic experience, it even seemed a little cool, but for some, this disaster has changed their reality. Keep them in your prayers. And if you feel called to donate anything to help these families, contact Paul at pastordyar@gmail.com and I’m sure he can put you in touch with people involved in relief. 

Thank you all for your concern and prayers. I love you all!

So…this week I go up to the mountains to translate. Please keep me in your prayers all week. I usually end up doing some sort of translating seeing as I am one of the few fluent Spanish speakers in the group. This is very different though. I will be translating messages. Today during church, an American man was preaching and one of our Honduran friends was translating. I was practicing along with him and boy was I having trouble. Whew….your prayers will be much needed I guarantee it.

Here we go:

-Prayer for the families and friends of those affected by the earthquake
-A praise – my journal was found! Woohoo! Someone picked it up at the orphanage where I left it.
-Prayer for me and the group I am working with this week. I know they’re from somewhere in the states, don’t know where from. I know it’s going to be stretching and challenging.
-Another praise – everyone’s feeling better, almost 100%!
Thank you guys so much for your prayer support!

In the past week I think I have really seen the name of this orphanage come true. In the few times I have traveled to Honduras, I have come to the State Orphanage every time, never really getting to know the kids or even beginning to comprehend who they were or where they were coming from. After being with them only these few times, but for long periods of time, I’m beginning to get a glimpse into their hurt and who they really are.

Thursday, for example. We continued working with the special needs kids. We had spent time with about half of them, enough to get a good picture of the groups we’d have to put them into. It was really interesting to see kids come out and shine. I never expected to say that, as horrible as it sounds. And it’s funny the one that I immediately judged as being crazy and scary my first time at the orphanage ended up being my favorite….his name is Fausto.

This is Fausto. These are his hands and feet:

Do you see why I, human as I am, I would look at the outside of him first, forgetting that there is a boy there that God loves SO much, and who God is “especially fond of”, as The Shack would say.

We had him in class. We asked them to draw shapes to see if they had any sort of motor skills, then if they did if they knew which shape was which etc. Fausto drew a perfect square, circle, and triangle. He knew some colors. He could even differentiate between a square and a rectangle. It was then I realized a few things. One, it’s a SHAME they neglect these kids in their education. Because they look different or sometimes have trouble controlling their emotions (though which of the kids in that orphanage really have full control anyway), whatever the problem may be, they can’t even sit in class without being taunted by classmates or ignored by teachers. It breaks my heart.

Then this one little boy. Eduardo. He isn’t special needs, but I sat with him after one of our classes, in between stuff. He drew me a picture of a house with a cute path and trees outside. I asked him if that was where he lived before. He said “No, it’s your house.” I almost started crying. I told him I wanted him to be there with me, I wouldn’t go there alone. Then I asked him if he had dreams. He said no. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He told me this: “I want to be able to read. And I want to be able to understand you all when you talk…” This boy’s biggest dreams were to learn to read and to learn English. Please let that soak in for a minute.

Another little girl, Emily, has only been at the orphanage for about two weeks now. She’s 12, practically a woman in the way she acts. I’m sure that there was a lot of abuse involved in her situation considering how she acts, but Thursday, her situation broke my heart. We walked into her room to fetch a few special needs kids to come to our class. She was sitting on the floor crying. Apparently her grandmother, little brother and sister had come to visit her that day. The staff would not let them in. Here’s a twelve year old girl, alone, picked on by the older kids who are higher in the hierarchy, hurting, scared, and they won’t let her see her family? Granted, we do not know the situation. Maybe the grandmother is the one who abused her to have her sent there…..but really? She’s 12. Let her see her family.

I have no idea how to help in these situations. I am completely helpless. I sit there each day, hoping that my smile will make a difference. I break up fights that I know will continue the minute I walk away. I comfort a girl who has been teased knowing that we’re there two days a week, five hours each day…what difference will it make? But then I think about each person who’s impacted my life. Their impact was typically longer term, but there were those camp counselors that I spent maybe a week with that spoke into my life. Every person you come into contact with can either reinforce or challenge what everyone else is telling you about yourself. The world says you are not good enough, you are ugly, you are fat, you look funny, you talk funny, nobody likes you. God tells us to show his love to others. David says “for you created my inmost being; you formed me in my mother’s womb.” Lamentations says “Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.”

God, let that be true for our children at the orphanage. Show them your compassion. Expand their futures. Let their education (minimal as it may be) open up doors for them. God, I want a better life for them than what they have right now. Bring people after us to continue to bring your hope to them.

Prayer Requests:
-That God would speak into the lives of these children through us.
-Healing for all of us. Everyone got sick this weekend.
-Emotional health. Being away from home is beginning to wear on all of us. I’m missing my friends and family a lot today.

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. They are both much appreciated.

These little girls followed me around when I had my camera – “take one of me! un foto! un foto!” I think I have at least five pictures of each of them now, haha.

Angel, the boy in front, looks scary but is actually a sweet little boy, haha. The boy who looks sweet, Eddi, on the top left is actually the little terror. Funny how that works, huh?
Sorry, no pictures of the State Orphanage yet. I’ll work on that for Thursday’s assignment

Tu amor por mi, es mas dulce que la miel.
Y tu misericordia es nuva cada dia.
Es por eso que te alabo,
Es por eso que te sirvo,
Es por eso que te doy todo mi amor.

“Your love for me is sweeter than honey.
Your mercies are new every day.
It’s because of this I praise you,
It’s because of this I serve you,
It’s because of this I give you all my love.”

I read the Shack this weekend and was amazed by the way it portrayed God. I was talking to my mom abuot the book and how much controversy there had been about it. Not saying that everything is dead on, but when they described everything about the Trinity and that healing process from “The Great Sadness”, it shook something inside me. It took a lot of “churchy” ideas and knocked them out of the water. And when it told me that my God is “especially fond of me”, that really meant a lot to me in the context it was said – I highly recommend that book.

Yesterday was the first day of teaching Math in english at the Bordo School, M’Kadesh. Surprisingly….I loved it! I first had to find out where they were at with the Math words in English. I taught them add, subtract, multiply, plus, minus, equals. Then we started writing math sentences as well as practicing big addition and subtraction problems. At that point I found out they didn’t really know their numbers too well. A few kids knew the numbers really well, so I let them go on ahead and gave them more problems, but most of them were way behind. I got to assign my first homework set! How fun is that?! Haha.

It was interesting to see the hierarchy in the classroom and in the school at such an early age. One little girl who is definitely at the bottom of the totem pole clung to me the entire time. Her mom had shaved her head, whether out of convenience of care or possibly to get rid of lice. when I first saw her, I thought she was a boy. I remember meeting her when I came in March. The reason I met her was that she was one of the kids out at the dump picking up food and trash to sell or use…broke my heart. As she grabbed my arm and just wanted to be held close, I felt her grabbing my heart too.

Prayer requests:
-Orphanage today. Pray for God to fill that place. It may seem like a place without God and without any sort of hope, but who knows how He’s been working in their hearts before we even began to come.
-Health. Michael, one of the interns, is the first one to get sick. Not too bad, but enough where it’s uncomfortable. Pray that none of the rest of us get what he has and that he will be healed quickly.
-Knowledge and guidance in how to best serve the kids at the orphanage today and again at the Bordo School tomorrow.